This post has been stirring in my heart for some time. For as long as I’ve dealt with PMDD, suicidal thoughts have been a symptom I’ve dealt with. It is not a constant thing. And as I’ve grown increasingly healthier emotionally, they have gotten less and less. Joining Facebook support groups a few years ago…
Author: Marissa
How the Trim Healthy Mama Way of Eating Helps My Moods
I’ve known for a long time that sugar makes me grumpy. And mean. And not fun to be around. Unfortunately, my sweet family received the brunt of these dark moods. The well known quote, “When Mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy” was a common reality in our home. It discouraged me that a dark cloud settled…
It’s All My Fault…Carrying Guilt about Postpartum Depression
A couple years ago, my relationship with my oldest, then preteen, son wasn’t great. Little things he did irritated me. Spilling something on the floor, accidentally hurting his brother, or him talking too much caused me to erupt in a response disproportionate to what he actually did. My anger was a problem. What I’ve learned…
Book Review: The Voice of the Heart
Have you ever read a book that you want to tell everyone about? In my search for answers to my ongoing battle with depression, it seems I’m always reading something related to becoming healthier emotionally. And I’ve come across some great ones in the past few years which I hope to write more posts about…
When All I Bring is Worship
Whether it is depression or life circumstances, sometimes I feel like I don’t bring a lot to the table even though it is my heart to serve God. Sometimes I feel very limited and frustrated that my capacity is not what others’ is. This can make me feel small when I look at what I’m…
Highs and Lows
The words “height” and “depth” have been sticking out to me lately in Scripture and in songs ever since a conversation with one of my dearest friends this summer. After getting to spend the evening with this friend, while driving her back to where she was staying in Anchorage, I opened up with her on…
Journal Entry
One afternoon recently, thumbing through my journal entries on my tablet, I came across a journal entry I wrote during this past episode of depression and thought I’d share it with you. May 15, 2017 “Heavy heart tonight. It’s so hard to be in that place again. My thoughts say I’ll feel this way forever….
Some Blessings of Depression
On a recent anniversary trip with my hubby, as we drove in the car taking in the beauty of Alaska, I pondered how God used my lowest moment from that anniversary weekend to produce the sweetest memory. Which got me thinking that as much as I wish depression away in my life, I can’t deny…
Where We Find Our Worth
How quickly we forget the love Jesus has for us. Think back to times when you screwed up royally. Maybe a memory from a long time ago comes to mind. Maybe like me, you think of the several times a day you blow it especially towards your family. If you think back to those moments,…
Choosing to Trust
I’ve come through a couple months bout of depression and I’m happy to say that I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. To be honest, this time around my faith hung on by a shred. There’s definitely more stories I could tell from this recent depression. Maybe I will. But for…