I’ve come through a couple months bout of depression and I’m happy to say that I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. To be honest, this time around my faith hung on by a shred.
There’s definitely more stories I could tell from this recent depression. Maybe I will. But for now, I will comment that it has been rocking my world to grapple with the thought I might need to accept that depression might never go completely away like I hoped. Oh, it always goes away for awhile, but just when I think I have been completely freed, it sneaks back unaware leaving me astounded.
While I am sometimes tempted to believe the lies, “What is the value of my life if I am always depressed? What good am I to anyone?”, God has been challenging me to accept that if He hasn’t taken my ongoing struggle with depression away, there is a reason it is still here.
A verse that kept coming to mind these past couple difficult months was 2 Cor. 12:9 which says,
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
Am I going to believe the promise that God’s grace is sufficient even in depression? I suppose I have echoed Paul on more occasions than I can count, when he said, “Please take it away!” (2 Cor. 9:8)
It gives me comfort that Paul asked three times.
But God saw fit not to take Paul’s thorn away.
I like happy endings. I haven’t particularly liked God’s response to Paul.
Or to me, for that matter.
But am I going to choose to trust that God has a purpose in this? Am I going to trust that He gives grace upon grace to keep going? Not only that, but that His power is made perfect through my suffering?